"And Lot lifted his eyes and saw all the plain of Jordan, that it was well watered everywhere like the garden of the LORD...Then Lot chose for himself all the plain of Jordan, and Lot journeyed east. And they separated ..." Gen. 13: 10-11
Abraham and Lot were at odds. It was time for them to separate. Abraham gave Lot the choice of where to go, even though it seemed that Lot was getting the better deal by choosing the well watered plain of Jordan.
But shortly, that lovely land would be destroyed because of the great wickedness of the people there. In fact, Lot's wife would not make it out of there alive when the judgment commenced. Still, Lot had chosen that what he thought was the best for himself.
I have thought and thought over the years about those five little words: "Then Lot chose for himself."
It seemed, by sight, that he was getting the better deal. But that was by sight. We know that the Father of our faith, Abraham became the friend of God because of his faith. In faith, Abraham let God choose the land where he would dwell, and had the freedom to let his cousin Lot make his own choice.
There was a decision that had to be made. Abraham trusted God enough to go ahead and let Lot choose. How often, in my own life my family and I were at a crossroad. A decision had to be made. Like Lot, I often looked around me and chose with my eyes what I thought would be best for my family. If my husband had a different opinion, the adage, "If Mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy" rang true. By my pouting and arguing, he would relent and I would choose the well watered plain that would eventually mean destruction.
One day God in His mercy showed me Proverbs 14:1. When I read it, I felt like a bomb might have been going off in my spirit, for it cut me to the quick.
The wise woman builds her house. But the foolish pulls it down with her hands.
Ouch! I didn't like that. I thought, "God, why did You have to let that verse be allowed in Your Word?"
But it was for my safety. As a woman, I do not think like a man. Aha! I think with my emotions and let my emotions rule me in what I thought would be the best choice for my children and family. I did not yet understand that God made a simple way for me to keep my family safe. And that was to submit (yes, that dirty word) to my husband.
I remember one day my husband was putting in a new hardwood floor in our dining room. I didn't think he had done a good enough job and got down on my hands and knees sanding it when he wasn't there, trying to make it better. All of a sudden, I could see that what I was doing was at best futile but also dangerous, willful, and hurtful.
It took me a long time, to my shame, to adjust to the reality of God's command that a woman should submit to her husband. (I can almost feel the whoosh of rotten tomatoes being thrown in my direction.) That is why I write this, to spare someone else the misery I went through.
It comes down to this, when there are two people, there are bound to be two different wills. They can clash against each other 'til death or divorce do them part, or we ladies can be like Abraham. We pray in faith for our husbands as the designated head of our home and family. And then we let him be in charge. God can turn his heart if he is going the wrong way, but not if we are putting up resistance.
It brings peace to twisted and anxious souls to rest in faith. Just like satan came against God and fell one day, it was because he had a different will than the wise will of the Father. One day, we will see that God's way always is for the best. We will know it when we see our enemy cast into the lake of fire.
But for now, we can keep him from reigning havoc in our family by being like Abraham and trusting God, and give our husband the authority bestowed upon him by God.
Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. I Peter 3:1-2
For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. I Peter 3: 5-6
I want to be a daughter of Sarah. No matter where we find ourselves in our marriages or in our lives, we can choose to be Sarah's daughters, all because we choose to trust God in our lives and not in our own plan, which will lead only to the road of destruction. It is never too late to start!