What I Wished I'd Said

Remember your Creator before the silver cord is loosed, Or the golden bowl is broken, Or the pitcher shattered at the fountain, Or the wheel broken at the well.
Then the dust will return to the earth as it was, And the spirit will return to God who gave it. Ecclesiastes 12:6-7

My high school alumni page on facebook contained sad news yesterday. A classmate of mine, aged 55, succumbed to cancer. Regret washed over me as the news took me back to fourth grade, out on the playground of my elementary school.

One bright sunny day felt more like a thunderstorm gushing over my head as some boys were making me the laughingstock of the day. It was probably due to the fact that I was not well coordinated. My whole year wasn't going well. I was having trouble making friends. How I wished I could disappear. School felt like prison. (That same year my gymteacher told me I gave him a heart attack when I tried to jump the hurdles.) 

But one girl from my class courageously stood up for me, told the bullies to stop bothering me, and chased them away. I felt so ashamed, but there was one person willing to do what was right, who helped me out when I needed a friend. I felt so grateful to her for sticking up for me. I still see it play out in my mind.

At the time we lived in the same neighborhood. I remember her being in classes with me in fifth and sixth grade and we were friendly with each other, not best friends but friendly. When middle school rolled around, the population of the seventh grade was at least three times higher than it had been in elementary school and we simply lost touch. It pretty much stayed that way for the rest of high school. I didn't even know many of the close to 800 people I graduated with back in 1980.

How I wish that I had reconnected with her, and told her how much I appreciated her for standing up for me when no one else would. Seeing news that she'd passed from a brave, brief battle with cancer hit me with its finality. When I read her obituary I saw that she also had stayed local and even went to the same university I did, though our paths never crossed there. The chance to ever say thanks now is gone. Maybe someone reading this might understand how hard it is to be a victim of bullying. Now, it seems it is more pervasive as there are increased ways to bully: social media, texting as well as on the playground, on the bus, or any other myriad of ways kids find to make the lives of others a living hell.

To others who also were bullied, if anyone stood up for you, you might want to say thank you, tell them how much you appreciated their act of kindness.

Our life is so brief. Tomorrow's not guaranteed. If there's something you have been meaning to say, by all means say it before it's too late. And if you can stick up for someone who's the underdog, you might just save their life.


Thank you Kim, for sticking up for me. I hope we will meet again on the other side.