A Mother's Musing...

"Oh fear the LORD, you His saints! There is no want to those who fear Him. The young lions lack and suffer hunger; But those who seek the LORD shall not lack any good thing. Come, you children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD. Psalm 34:9-11

This is my first mother's day as both a mother and grandmother. It is precious to visit with my new little grandsons. As I think about my own years as a mother, I did not realize then how quickly they would pass. Even though I am still in middle age, it seems each year passes by faster than the one before. I bumped into an old neighbor of mine at the store today. It seemed like just yesterday they moved, but it was thirteen years already.

I had the blessing of going for a mother's day brunch a day early today with my son and his family. It makes my eyes well up with tears at times, for when I do pay a visit, it reminds me that already so much of life has passed. I remember my son as a little boy, but now a man. I remember with joy my happy times as a mother, but I do have regrets too.

If only I would have realized how short a time I really would have my kids, I would have done things differently. Most importantly, I would have liked to show them a mother that did not waver in her faith. I wasted a lot of time fretting, time that could have been spent showing them how great God was, and how much He could be trusted.

Reading God's Word every day for myself has bolstered my faith.I wish I would have done it back then. I wish I would have read it to them every day. It is the only reliable thing we have in the universe. Just today I read an incredible verse about the Truth of His Word:

"The entirety of Your word is truth, And every one of your righteous judgments endures forever." Ps. 119:160

That Word alone could have saved me so much grief, just to believe it and demonstrate it before their little watching eyes.The years are gone now, and I won't live in regrets, but hopefully maybe someone who reads this may learn from my mistake.

In years past, I disliked the book of Ecclesiastes because it seemed depressing, but now it makes such good sense. Solomon had everything he could possibly want from this world, but he realized at the end of his life it was all vanity and chasing after wind. All the accolades of men, all the accomplishments, all the pride of life really meant nothing in the big picture.

As Solomon comes to the end of the book, he gives some great advice to the young, something I tried to teach my children. He says in Eccles. 12:1: "Remember now your Creator in the days of your youth, Before the difficult days come..."

I always took that to mean that if one is receptive and open to the LORD as a child, it is easier for them to stay on the path of faith, while if you harden your heart, it only becomes more and more difficult to believe when you get older.

At the end of the book, and at the end of Solomon's life, he concludes by saying this:

"Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God and keep His commandments, For this is man's all." (Eccles. 12: 13)

So,how does this all have to do with being a mother? Well, I guess what I am trying to say is I would not have fretted so much about the little details of life, but focused more on showing faith and teaching my children the only thing that will outlast this universe, God's Word.

"Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will by no means pass away." Matthew 24:35

"...All flesh is as grass, and all its loveliness is like the flower of the field. The grass withers, the flower fades, Because the breath of the LORD blows upon it. Surely the people are grass. The grass withers, the flower fades, But the word of our God stands forever." Is.40:6-8

I would have focused on what David said: "Come you children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD." (Ps. 34:11) I especially would have emphasized how much the Heavenly Father loved them and cared for them.

"So teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Psalm 90:12

A Fleeting Life

This summer I had a great privilege to take part in a memoir class. I loved writing about my past. It was so cathartic. Memories that had been stuffed down, actually lying in my brain dormant, surfaced again as my fingers hit the keys. Good times, bad times, things I wished had never happened all came back in a flood. And then I began rummaging through the pictures I had always said I was going to get organized. I was going to, yet I never did.

Actually many of those precious Kodak moments lay in my attic in the corner, in the very back, forgotten, until I was on my memoir quest. Suddenly, they became very important. Learning how to scan them into my computer and then into my stories, those pictures came alive again for me. I wrote about college days, about passing my boards, getting my lifeguarding certification, hey, I even wrote my very first memory. My mother confirmed that it, indeed, had really happened.

When I was a baby in Christ and I read the book of Ecclesiastes I was totally depressed. Why did the Preacher write in the second verse: "Vanity of vanities, all is vanity(?) Who was God to allow God to make life so fleeting like that? I remember I questioned that after I had given birth to my first child. I didn't understand the point of the book.

If life was so transient, then what was the point of life? The point is given after the Preacher had experienced all the pleasures of life and found them meaningless.

Eccles. 2: 10
"Whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them.
I did not withhold from my heart any pleasure,
For my heart rejoiced in my labor;
And this was my reward from all my labor.
2:11
Then I looked on all the works my hands had done
And on the labor in which I had toiled;
And indeed it was all vanity and grasping for the wind.
There was no profit under the sun."

Now, as I look back on the faded pictures I see that life is a vapor. I was a girl. It seemed I would never grow up. My mother said, "You have your whole life ahead of you."

Now, that life is at least half gone. The faded pictures are memories. Then the Preacher is right if this life is all there is. But at the end, the Preacher too, comes to wisdom and says:

Eccles. 12: 13

"Fear God and keep His commandments, For this is man's all.
For God will bring every work into judgment, including every secret thing, whether good or evil."

Finally, the one commandment He wants us to obey, or "work: today, which is answered here:

John 6: 28-29

Then they said to Him, "What shall we do, that we may work the works of God?"
Jesus answered and said to them, " This is the work of God, that you may believe in Him whom He sent."

Then life will not be vanity, but will suddenly have new meaning, destiny and purpose...