Letting Go

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: 

A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away...   Eccles. 3:1,6

It's come down to this: a time to lose, a time to keep and a time to cast away. Saying goodbye to Mom and Dad's home hasn't been easy. Many trips with the Blazer filled, sometimes to Goodwill and sometimes to my kids, and many times to my house. My sisters and I have had days filled with backaches and dusty, dirty clothes after bringing long forgotten memories from the attic in Dad's barn. I now have plenty of extra plates and dishes, toy tractors and an extra sweeper to boot. More pictures, more books and more memorabilia that made up the life of my parents. All just stuff, though, and will not bring back the man we called Dad or the times we spent there in the past.

The house is nearly empty, all the tractors hauled away and it's been almost one year since Dad fell in a hunting accident. So much work in one year's time, coming to the tough decision to move Mom to the home and breaking down the house took an emotional toll on all three of us.

There was something painfully beautiful about it, a place where you could sit and meditate on the wonders of God's creation. And yet the "time" has come...to let it go now.

Last night we had a bonfire and cookout with Mom's wonderful neighbors. We retired the flag from the flagpole and said our goodbyes to a tiny piece of heaven on earth. It  hurt to look at the beauty of the country as I drove around up there and observe the rolling hills, the patches of farmland and hearing the sweet birdsong.  But....but, this is still  a fallen world. One look at the headlines and I know this is not Paradise, not yet. We have a better place to look forward to. Rocky Ridge in all its glory still had nasty invaders like stinkbugs, mice and spiders. It's time to move forward from a season of casting away and look to eternity.

"If only we could keep it in the family somehow," I still  mused last night while gazing heavenward. But life does not promise us a piece of land or even ending the way we think it will.

That's OK, we have something so much better to look forward to.

These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth.

For they that say such things declare plainly that they seek a country.

And truly, if they had been mindful of that country from whence they came out, they might have had opportunity to have returned.

But now they desire a better country, that is, an heavenly: wherefore God is not ashamed to be called their God: for he hath prepared for them a city.  Hebrews 11:13-16

We're pilgrims passing through. We belong to a better country. A place where no corruption, no decay, no death and no more night will ever make us sigh again. We're headed for Eternal day and no need of the sun there for the Lamb of God will light the universe.

I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread. Ps. 37:25

As we say goodbye to memories, I realize I'm next. My kids will be deliberating on how to care for me, how to keep me safe. And yes, they will have to sort through my "stuff." I hope I can pare it down somehow, make their job a little easier.

I thought about the lyrics in the song "Hurt" by Trent Reznor, made famous in Johnny Cash's swansong video. It says "you can have it all, my empire of dirt..."  I worked in the attic, and attempted to sweep over twenty years worth of the accumulation of dust.  My fingernails became coated black with debris as we cleared out the last of the leftovers: tractor parts, tools, pictures and slides from the 50s and 60s. 

Life is brief. All that's left is our "empire of dirt."  That's what it comes down to. The only stuff I'll  keep when it's time to pack my suitcase is God's Word inside. Everything else will be cast away.

Help me God. Let my daily prayer simply be:

So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom. Ps. 90: 12

A Remembrance of the Passing of Time

"I have been young, and now am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his children begging for bread." Psalm 37:25

While shopping for groceries today, I recognized a familiar face. I couldn't recall just where I saw her before. I thought for a little bit and then realized, it was the face of a woman who cashiered at our local Foodland,gone for at least 15 years now. I thought I might say something to her, but then thought better of it, thinking she would think I was crazy if I told her I remembered her from there. But on the next aisle, she told me that my face looked familiar. And so we had a pleasant chat. She still wore the same hairstyle, only time had worn her face, and I am sure mine looked aged to her as well.

When I shopped there, it was a totally different stage of my life: the stage of being a young mother with three hungry mouths to feed. There was healthy competition in our shopping district because we had two grocery stores separated by a discount store in between. I hunted out the bargains in each place for the best value for my growing family. The woman always worked hard at the store, I remembered asking her for rainchecks on items that sold out. She always wore a pleasant smile. Now, that store has twice been replaced, and soon will be vacant once again. Nothing comes to stay.

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1

Time... you see people and then you don't see them. We are mere shadows walking the face of this planet. I am ashamed to say I used to get inwardly annoyed with a man who took forever to get across the street with his cane. He and his wife always walked about the neighborhood together. Now, I only see her.

Surely every man walks about like a shadow;
Surely they busy themselves in vain;
He heaps up riches,
And does not know who will gather them. Psalm 39: 6

My father mowed a graveyard as a young man, way out in the middle of an Iowa cornfield, a version of a known epitapah appeared on one of the graves. As a young girl, I went down to visit that graveyard, entranced by the message on the old gravestone. My father, now an old man, can still recite the verse on the stone:

Remember this, as you pass by
As you are now, so once was I
As I am now, so you will be
Prepare for death and follow me.

Sobering thought for a child but now it has great impact as the years fly by. I "am" now, but my days are fleeting upon this earth. I need not get caught up in the cares and anxieties of this life, for it is just a fleeing shadow, real life begins where God is, not here on this planet. Although, right now, I have His eternal life by His grace through faith. (Ephesians 2:8-9)

As I face perplexing trials, I need not worry about tomorrow. I do not know where I will be tomorrow, but I can trust that my Father above will always be faithful no matter what I am going through.

"Behold, blessed is the one who God reproves; therefore despise not the the discipline of the Almighty, For He wounds, but He binds up; He shatters, but His hands heal. He will deliver you from six troubles; in seven no evil shall touch you. In famine He will redeem you from death, and in war from the power of the sword. You shall be hidden from the scourge of the tongue, and shall not fear destruction when it comes." Job 5:17-20

Endings and Beginnings

Today was my last day at a job I dearly loved. I worked with nice people and very precious children whom I will remember always. But yet today I said goodbye to them all for a new, full-time job doing much the same thing not too far away from them. Yet God know this day would come for me, that "For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven."(Eccles.3:1)

It made me cry, getting through this day. For I saw people, priceless people whom Christ died for, whom He allowed to be a part of my life for a short time. And now that time is gone. Now a new chapter in my life opens up. What will it hold for me?

I have been back in the work force for almost 10 years now, after raising my children. I have held many jobs since them. But this one was quite special to me. Parents were saddened that I was leaving, and quite frankly I was touched that I meant something to them. I am hoping that somehow, in some small way, I made a difference in a child's life, that hopefully I showed Jesus' love to co-workers.

Today made me realize that life is going by too quickly. To treasure each moment you have with people because nothing stays the same, everything comes to pass. Touch lives where I worked dear Father. I only hope that this new place will be a positive one also, but I know that the Father will be with me, for He has promised it to be true. (Matt. 28: 20)

It is even the same in my family. Relationships that were present 10 years ago are in some cases completely gone now. Nothing comes to stay, everything comes to pass. There is only one thing that is constant, that will never change: "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever." (Hebrews 13:8) Of this one thing, I can be sure as one door of my life closes and a new one opens.