Make a Little Bright

For though He was crucified in weakness, yet He lives by the power of God. For we also are weak in Him, but we shall live with Him by the power of God toward you.

II Corinthians 13:4

Our adversary is slick. He studies our countenance to see what kinds of thoughts he can throw at us to try to knock us out of God's plan. But he makes the thought seem like it is our thought, so we don't realize it is an attack upon our mind, an effort to deride any good thing that the Lord might be working in us.

I saw this so clearly today. I go on Thursdays to the assisted living place where my Mom is now and each week I share a chapter of my book Sure Mercies: Hope for the Suffering, with any who want to come in the back dining room at 10 am. But today, I planned on staying on even after that.

About 6 weeks ago, I started thinking about something small I could do for the residents. I deliberated and looked on Pinterest, googling ideas back and forth when finally I came up with something. I like to sew and I have lots of materials from the years. I found a pattern on Pinterest for a little sheep. I could make one for each of them. I copied the pattern onto parchment paper and set to cutting out some 60 sheep bodies, heads, arms and legs.  I just wanted to give the residents something to let them know that God cared about them, that Jesus died for them, and to try to spread God's Good News of salvation through a little poem I wrote and attached to a ribbon and tied around each one.

A couple of days ago I felt this sense of dread about the whole thing. I felt that everyone there would despise them and the staff people would laugh at me for being a "do-gooder." But it wasn't like I was working to "try" and please God in making them, I enjoyed the whole process of sewing them together and even wrapping them. It's hard to explain but I felt this oppression. I even cried a couple times yesterday.

I woke up still feeling heavy inside. But as I began reading my Bible this morning, God blessed me so much in His Word and I just felt that burden lift off my shoulders. 

God, You are my God, I eagerly seek You. I thirst for You; my body faints for You; in a land that is dry, desolate, and without water. So I gaze on You in the sanctuary to see Your strength and Your glory. My lips will glorify You because Your faithful love is better than life. Psalm 63: 1-3 

I took a couple minutes to pray to the Father and I asked my little sister and my husband and son and daughter in law also to pray for me today when I handed them out.

All I can say is I was so deceived by the enemy in feeling intimidated in sharing my gifts with the old folks there. Some of them were so surprised that I had a gift for them and their faces lit with joy. Seeing that joy on their faces was more than enough to fill my soul with blessings.

It can be gloomy in my corner of the country, and often the darkness really can get to some of us. But today, there was just a little brightness added to my day and to their day, and to think that I thought of chucking the whole idea. Like I said, the enemy must have seen my needless worry on my countenance and tried to win a victory on this the shortest and darkest day of the year.

But once again, our adversary was defeated by the Word of God.

"And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death." Revelation 12:11

When God is glorified, people are blessed, plain and simple. God's glory is for man's good. So let us lift Him up, unashamed, in this dark world. I remembered  suddenly this lovely quote by Edward Everett Hale, and realized how it can apply to small, tiny efforts to spread the love of Christ: “I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.”  

When I hear and see of all  the terrible things in the world today, sometimes I feel like I can't do anything, it's hopeless. But seeing the light in the residents faces reminded me that is just not true. When I am weak, then He is strong. Praise be to His name.

Serving with Helplessness

For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.  2 Cor. 12:10 

I don't like sitting around doing nothing. I don't like feeling helpless.  But for the past couple of days, that is exactly what I have been doing. I am recovering from carpal tunnel surgery on my left hand yesterday morning, and also still having some pain from the surgery I had on my right hand almost two months ago. Using my hands in normal daily activity is painful in even simple chores.

My husband said to take it easy. So I have, but sometimes it is hard to sit when I think of all the things I should be doing. Like cleaning the house, or starting a new writing project, or.... the list goes on.

I have spent the last couple of months taking care of Mom, that throwing my normal life off schedule. Half of my stuff is at home, and half of it is at her house. I will be here a couple more days recuperating then back to her place, then back here when my sister comes, and on and on for this summer. It hurts to see her unhappy and saying she just wants to die.

I have never felt this unsettled. Never. I don't know what the future holds, it seems so uncertain. And more and more, the Lord shows me my own helplessness to even pull out of the rut I seem to be in.

One thing is certain. I cannot face the things ahead alone. I need Him desperately. Do you need Him that way too?

I used to think that was a bad thing, but now am learning to rest in it. He isn't expecting anything from dust like me but to look up in faith to Him.

Last week, on a farm near Mom's I saw a poor cow that had fallen down in the mud. The farmer tried several times and in different ways to lift the cow out of the muck but it just kept falling down again. I could not help but cry looking at that poor helpless cow, with udders full of milk, unable to lift herself or flick away the many flies assaulting her. In vain she swished her tail and lifted a leg. But it was of no use. A couple days later, I saw her lifeless body being hauled away on a truck from the neighbor's farm.

If I could have pity on that helpless creature how much more does my Heavenly Father pity us as His weak children?  I used to think that if only I tried just a little bit harder, then certainly I could succeed in the Christian life, and pull myself out of the pits I dig for myself. Now I rejoice to know that only when I am weak will His strength be shown in me. He can be glorified even in a weak vessel like me.

Just before I was ready to sign off tonight I found this little quote from None but the Hungry Heart (edited by Miles Stanford) for today, June 10. It encouraged my weary and discouraged heart. Maybe it will encourage yours too:

“Two glad services are ours, Both the Master loves to bless. First we serve with all our powers, Then with all our helplessness.”